When I first learned about New Year’s traditions, I was about 9 years old, and I thought, "What a great idea!" But at 9 years old I wasn't consistent at anything, so I had the best idea to find something that I rarely did and make it my New Year’s resolution NOT to do it for an entire year. Green socks! I wasn't going to wear green socks for an entire year. I succeeded and was so proud of myself. The next year I chose blue socks, and the tradition continued. As I got older, I realized that I didn’t gain much from New Year’s resolutions that didn’t challenge me in some way.

Have you ever had a thought that seemed to come out of nowhere, and you were horrified that your mind was able to think it? Do your negative thoughts get so overwhelming that they make you feel bad about yourself and unworthy to be around? Are your thoughts so loud that they create anxiety and make you feel ashamed of yourself? These are all examples of intrusive thoughts—and believe it or not, they are your body’s response to stress and anxiety.

I named this blog in honor of my son. He’s currently 2.5 and every night when he goes to bed, he tries to stay awake, asking me to read the words on his cup. Each night the message is different, but the sayings are ones of great optimism, like “Dream Big” or “Adventure Awaits”. I have given great thought to what those phrases mean, at 10 p.m. when his eyes should be closed. I think about how wonderful and big the world is when we are little. We are taught that we are supposed to set our achievements high, and that the sky is the limit. However, many of us lose that zest for life by the time we graduate from high school. That zest slowly withers after criticism from other children, teachers, and even parents, when what we needed was encouragement. People who are imperfect themselves and had no business judging what we create.

Have you ever felt guilty having to take care of yourself? I’ll be honest, I experienced that this week. An unnecessary guilt, because I came down with the flu and had to cancel client sessions. I even tried to talk myself into doing virtual therapy so I could still meet with my people, but when the fever spiked to 102°F, I knew that I was down for the count. Where does this guilt come from?

For many people who are new in sobriety, the holidays can pose several challenges. You may not know how to interact with your family without alcohol present. Your family may not understand why you quit drinking. Your family may still be angry with you for all the time you spent drinking. There are many scenarios that can leave someone new to recovery feeling anxious, or even dreading the holidays. If you seriously don’t know how you are going to navigate the holidays this year, this post is for you!