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From Socks To Self Compassion:

A Therapist’s Perspective On New Year’s Goals

Therapist in Blaine MN . Journaling next to wild flowers

When I first learned about New Year’s resolutions, I was about 9 years old, and I thought, “What a great idea!” But at 9 years old I wasn’t consistent at anything, so I had the best idea to find something that I rarely did and make it my New Year’s resolution NOT to do it for an entire year. Green socks! I wasn’t going to wear green socks for an entire year. I succeeded and was so proud of myself. The next year I chose blue socks, and the tradition continued. As I got older, I realized that I didn’t gain much from New Year’s resolutions that didn’t challenge me in some way.

New Year's Goals Woman holding a heart with a smile on her face.

Over the years, I’ve come to dread New Year’s resolutions—like many people—because starting a new habit, setting a new boundary, or eliminating things from my life is hard work. However, I do believe pursuing personal growth is important.

I see therapy as a place where clients get to experience personal growth by setting goals for themselves and having someone gently support them as they work toward them. Imagine having a person in your life who is just going to help you find ways to do what you said you were going to do. Someone who won’t try to guilt you for going at your own pace, or if you need to take a break and talk about the current crisis at hand.

As a therapist, I try to be authentic for my clients. I am human, I have my struggles, and I have learned many life lessons up to this point that give me a perspective of humility when it comes to many things, including working with clients. The image above is my 2026 New Year Goals.

One thing that has been challenging for me in the past few years has been prioritizing what my body needs over what other people need from me. My body is getting older, and louder, so it is my sincere hope that I can start listening.

April’s New Year Resolutions Goals
  1. Get at least 8 hours of sleep a night.
  2. Drink 64 ounces of water a day.
  3. Schedule “Me Time” at least once a week.
  4. Cook a meal 5 nights a week.
  5. Have more self-compassion.
  6. Don’t wear brown socks for an entire year. (just kidding!)
New Year's Goals Person with their feet on the dashboard
New Year's Goals Woman writing in a journal.

Here are some tips for coming up with goals for the new year.

Five Ways I Approach New Year Goals
  1. I start with reflection instead of pressure.

    Before setting new goals, I look back at the past year with curiosity rather than judgment. What felt supportive? What felt draining? Understanding what actually worked for me helps me set goals that fit my real life—not an idealized version of it.

  2. I focus on direction, not perfection.

    I don’t expect goals to be all-or-nothing. I think about the general direction I want to move in and allow room for flexibility along the way. Progress can be meaningful even when it’s imperfect.

  3. I choose fewer goals on purpose.
    When I try to change everything at once, I usually end up overwhelmed. Limiting myself to one or two meaningful goals makes it more likely I’ll stay engaged without burning out or giving up.
  4. I make my goals behavior-based and realistic.
    Instead of focusing on who I want to be, I focus on what I can practice. Small, specific actions are easier to return to—and they tend to create more lasting change over time.
  5. I treat setbacks as information, not failure.
    Motivation drops, life gets busy, and that’s part of being human. When I notice myself stuck or off-track, I try to adjust the goal or add support rather than criticizing myself. Goals are tools, not measures of worth.
Closing Thoughts


Please remember that when creating goals, we never know what challenges the year ahead may bring. It’s okay if you achieve five goals this year, and it’s also okay if you don’t achieve any. The important thing is that you have a desire to grow and are taking steps toward it. As I mentioned earlier, self-compassion is on my list too.

 

New Year's Goals Person cooking a meal.