Adventure Awaits

I named this blog in honor of my son. He’s currently 2.5 and every night when he goes to bed, he tries to stay awake, asking me to read the words on his cup. Each night the message is different, but the sayings are ones of great optimism, like “Dream Big” or “Adventure Awaits”. I have given great thought to what those phrases mean, at 10 p.m. when his eyes should be closed. I think about how wonderful and big the world is when we are little. We are taught that we are supposed to set our achievements high, and that the sky is the limit. However, many of us lose that zest for life by the time we graduate from high school. That zest slowly withers after criticism from other children, teachers, and even parents, when what we needed was encouragement. People who are imperfect themselves and had no business judging what we create.

It’s hard to get that zest back once we have lost it. To muster up the courage to try something, and to risk failure. Some people become so afraid of criticism from others or perceived failure, that they never try at anything.

It’s not impossible to dream big again, once you’ve spent so much of your life playing it safe. While it is hard to regain that courage, here are some steps to start:

1. Create a list of all the things that you would do if you were not afraid of failure.
2. Write down all the reasons why you are afraid to pursue each one. Write exactly what scares you whether it be financial risk, embarrassment, rejection, etc. Recognizing the fear gives it less power.
3. Break your dream into tiny manageable steps. Think of one small action you can take today, rather than the whole process.
4. Change your perspective on failure. You can do this by thinking of failure as a temporary setback, a learning opportunity, not something that will define you as a person.
5. Visualize your success. Spend some time everyday imagining what it would be like to succeed in meeting your goal. I would even go as far as starting to plan what you will do when you have reached your goal. (ex. Picking out the sofa you are going to put in your brand new apartment) Let those dreams take flight! This builds motivation and confidence while decreasing fear.
6. Set realistic goals for yourself. Allow your goals to change as you go through the process. Not everything is going to go as planned, and it’s important that you adapt your goals to what you are learning along the way.
7. Celebrate each time you have a mini success! Sure you’re not at the finish line yet, but there’s no reason why you can’t celebrate taking the needed steps to get there. You could even create a timeline for yourself and set certain events as celebratory.
8. Surround yourself with support. Find the people in your life who you know will be an encouragement to you, and maybe keep tight lipped in front of the people who are only going to bring you down. You know who those people are.
9. Take action! You don’t need to have all of your ducks in a row to start moving towards your dreams. That’s where the small steps come in. If you’re held up by an obstacle, look at the other things you can check off on your to do list. Whatever you do, just keep pushing forward.

I know that this may seem a lot easier to read in a blog post, than to actually do it, but remember that you are worth it, to pursue what would make you happy. If you feel stuck, or unable to take that first step, swing by my office or seek the help of another mental health professional, and we’ll help you work through it.